"Daddy’s girl," "Tomboy," "Bossy," "Loud," "Hyper," "A wild Indian"…
These are a few of the words and phrases used to describe me during adolescence. Oh I was so rough and tumble. As a child I was excited and adventurous, always looking for some new corner of our woods to explore.
I grew into a young lady and most of these traits hung around and maybe matured ever so slightly. I distinctly remember this one day when I was about 14. Before I had even began a relationship with God, my aunt looked at me one day and said, “Baby, one day you’re gonna do great things for God. You’re a trailblazer.” That meant little me at the time, other than just a very nice thing for my aunt to say.
I didn’t even meet Jesus until I was 21 years old, shortly after giving birth out of wedlock (another story in and of itself). From the beginning I was a fireball of passion and zeal for Jesus. As I settled in to my new faith, new church, and my new life as a single mother, one thing was certain: I was just not your typical church lady.
I began to volunteer enthusiastically at church, read and study the Bible, and ask questions like crazy. I questioned everything! Why do we do this? Why do we do that? I asked questions of my leaders and family members (many of my family members are/were in ministry), and absorbed information like a sponge. But one thing really stuck out to me: I didn’t seem to be a “normal” lady-like woman. I wondered if any Christian man would ever want to put up with someone as feisty and hyper as me. Surely this was a bad thing! I just didn’t seem to be like all the other Christian women, and I most definitely didn’t fit in with all the IDEALS that everyone seemed to have about what a woman should be.
Two years passed as I tried to find my way as a mom, as a woman, and as a Christian. I met my husband and married him in 2007. We began a journey of self-discovery with the Lord, together. I had many encounters and experiences with God and one thing burned in my heart profoundly: I believed God was calling me as a leader and quite possibly as a minister. But what did that even mean? I wasn’t even sure that this was biblical, but here I was speaking with the Holy Spirit, and He couldn’t have made it clearer if it were printed on a billboard! I couldn’t go to a church service without someone somewhere giving me a word that God was calling me as a leader/pastor/prophetic voice. I may not have known exactly what God wanted me to do yet, but I knew He was calling me to do something that I wasn’t even sure I was allowed to do.
But lo and behold as I continued to read my Bible and learn, I discovered many other women leaders within the pages. I discovered a woman apostle named Junia, a prophetess name Miriam, a judge name Deborah, and so many more women of influence and credibility in Scripture. I began to meet other women in my life that walked in power and authority, leading alongside men in the Church. It was almost as if God was aligning my journey “for such a time as this.”
It turns out that this little barefoot country girl who was so bossy and loud, actually had major leadership potential! I just needed some time to mature and grow in love and grace. It turns out that God sometimes creates women who are hyper, happy, excited, loud, and wild at heart. It turns out, that God doesn’t just have one mold that He uses when creating women. It turns out that He’s an artist, and every human He created is different from the next.
To anyone out there who feels that they don’t fit in with society’s expectations: You’re unique because God created you that way. You have a calling and a purpose. There is a move of God in the Earth that only you can fulfill. That’s why God created you the way you are. Embrace the person that God created you to be. Maybe… Just maybe, He knows what He’s doing.