I Died and Met Jesus: An 18 Day Journey in the Afterlife | #1 NYT Bestselling Author

The light I was suctioned into wasn’t just a visible destination.

It was a presence that funneled me, not just upward, but inward through the veil. And then, after passing through this tunnel, I knew I was at the center of the city.

Revelation 21:23 (NLT) tells us, “And the city has no need of sun or moon, for the glory of God illuminates the city, and the Lamb is its light.”

This wasn’t just a place. This was a Person. I saw Him.

My eyes locked with His.

A force stronger than gravity arrested me and wrapped me up. There was no escape. I was free-falling from a helicopter into the deepest trench of the widest blue ocean of love.

“But Gabe, what did He look like?”

Before I can even answer that, you need to understand—whatever image you’ve had of Him growing up, it’s not accurate. In that moment, I knew. Everything I had ever seen—the church paintings, Christian movies, actors playing His role—every portrayal had been off. The Christ I learned of was nothing like the One I was standing before.

It is going to take an entire chapter and really the rest of this book, and even then I could never finish the full explanation of what He looks like. I know you want to know all the features, but first you must understand:

His eyes.

They weren’t just a “feature” or “sole detail” of His being.

They were Him—all of Him.

I saw all the colors that had ever existed or could exist, all in one. He was the deepest ocean of liquid love that had no end. A spectrum of intensity that only increased the longer I stared.

His eyebrows, hair, jawline, arms, chest, heart, stature, nose hairs, ears, forehead, eyelashes, teeth, mouth, skin, and complex-ion all said the same thing:

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Here I was, a measly human being, staring into the eyes of the eternal King of kings and Lord of lords. The great I AM, Majesty, Alpha and Omega, the One who existed before the start of existence itself.

How could this be, that I would even have the chance to look at Him? Here, in the very throne room of heaven, I struggled to process the possibility of my admission near this King.

The throne room was the grandest place I had ever witnessed. It was so large yet so intimate. There were countless beings all around, elders and living creatures (cherubim) and the seven Spirits and harps full of praise and golden bowls.

I stood there completely undone—a holy, reverent fear, unlike anything I’d ever known, struck me silent. This wasn’t just “someone.”

This is the One.

Even now, as I am writing this book, my heart is still pounding faster than you could imagine. I felt as if I almost didn’t want to attempt a breath because who was I that I would even attempt to share the same oxygen as Him. I feared and respected His presence.

The atmosphere was electric, charged with the fire of holiness. The air was thick, saturated with the weight of His glory, like it was dripping with something far greater than rain. It was like a cloud, but it filled the entire place and was not just limited to a certain location. His fragrance completely embraced me with every breath I took.

His fragrance wasn’t like the humidity of the Florida Ever-glades. No, this was something eternal—an everlasting fountain of fire, not just surrounding me but burning into me. Wrapping around me like a robe, like a living garment of pure, unending presence. It felt burning hot and freezing cold at the same time.

In that moment, I saw.

The fabric of His presence wove everything together—that has ever existed, from the grandest galaxies to the smallest pro-tons. It all was created from Him. All it took for Him was the tiniest movement of His finger. Half a centimeter. If that. Then, the universe began.

Every being and creature in the throne room radiated beauty and praise beyond just auditory sound. But none of them pointed to themselves. It was all for His glory.

There are many mansions in heaven—one for every son and daughter. But they weren’t just plopped down into existence—they were handcrafted and emanating as an extension of the very heart of the greatest Carpenter of all time. He delights in building every centimeter of your home.

There are details, rooms, structures, and designs that not only exceed your wildest dreams and imaginations, but they will leave you speechless in awe of all His delicate plans that He has had for you the entire time. Each one is prepared even before you arrive.

Yet, as breathtaking as they are, it’s not about the mansions. Just like everything else in heaven—the towering mountains, the endless beaches, the radiant cities, the monuments that tell His story, the libraries filled with eternal wisdom (and books that are written detailing His plans for all of His family), the universities where revelation never ceases, the golden streets, the pearly gates, the sparkling gems, the holy sapphire floor—none of it exists to draw attention to itself.

The gifts are never above the giver. And after seeing it all, there’s only one thing left to say,

“Worthy is the Lamb!”

Revelation 5:11-13 (NLT) paints this picture perfectly:

Then I looked again, and I heard the voices of thousands and millions of angels around the throne and of the living beings and the elders. And they sang in a mighty chorus: “Worthy is the Lamb who was slaughtered—to receive power and riches and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and blessing.” And then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea. They sang: “Blessing and honor and glory and power belong to the one sitting on the throne and to the Lamb forever and ever.”

Every ounce of heaven’s molecules far exceeded my wildest dreams and desires I could have ever imagined. And then there was me.

A 20-year-old, made from the dust of the earth, standing before the King Himself. I was the same man who had been a hypocrite. An addict. Ruthless. Prideful. Perverted. A liar. An enemy of God. And now, here I was before Him.

Terror gripped me. I was sure the record of my sin was about to be laid bare—every addiction, every moment of lust, every lie, every crude word, all of it. I knew I deserved judgment. At best, I could hope to be nothing more than a distant acquaintance. I felt just as Isiaah did when he was before the throne:

…I saw the Lord. He was sitting on a lofty throne, and the train of his robe filled the Temple. Attending him were mighty seraphim, each having six wings. With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they flew. They were calling out to each other, “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of Heaven’s Armies! The whole earth is filled with his glory!” Their voices shook the Temple to its foundations, and the entire building was filled with smoke. Then I said, “It’s all over! I am doomed, for I am a sinful man. I have filthy lips, and I live among a people with filthy lips. Yet I have seen the King, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies” (Isaiah 6:1-5 NLT).

My face fell to the floor. But then… He said, “Gabriel.”

His arms wrapped around me.

His hands held up my head so that I could look right into Him. There was no hesitation.

Tears.

They ran down my face.

Not only was I allowed before His feet, but He looked at me as if I was His one and only.

“Gabriel.” “Welcome home.” “Look at Me.”

No one had ever loved me like this before. I had never seen a smile like the one I witnessed on His face. He was thrilled. The level of excitement and joy that emanated and flowed from His being was beyond any description I can put into the English language.

Ezekiel went through a very similar encounter to mine, thousands of years ago.

Above this surface was something that looked like a throne made of blue lapis lazuli. And on this throne high above was a figure whose appearance resembled a man. From what appeared to be his waist up, he looked like gleaming amber, flickering like a fire. And from his waist down, he looked like a burning flame, shining with splendor. All around him was a glowing halo, like a rainbow shining in the clouds on a rainy day. This is what the glory of the Lord looked like to me. When I saw it, I fell face down on the ground, and I heard someone’s voice speaking to me.

“Stand up, son of man,” said the voice. “I want to speak with you.” The Spirit came into me as he spoke, and he set me on my feet. I listened carefully to his words (Ezekiel 1:26-28; 2:1-2 NLT)

I knew exactly how Ezekiel must have felt. In His eyes, I saw the eyes of Father God, pure love, staring right back into me. Jesus’ eyes were a perfect mirror reflecting how my Father sees me.

This perfect Father—the One who knew everything about me—saw me as if I were Jesus Himself.

It wasn’t just “similar to” or “close enough.” It was exactly.

The way He loves Jesus…that’s how He loves me. I wasn’t some outsider, barely making it in. I was seen, cherished, adored, and valued just as much as Christ was. I truly felt like a grave accident had occurred, like an angel had misplaced me and con-fused me as if I was part of Christ Himself. How could this be?

But then Jesus sternly told me I was not mistaken and reminded me of His words in John 17:23 (TPT): “You live fully in me and now I live fully in them, so that they will experience perfect unity, and the world will be convinced that you have sent me, for they will see that you love each one of them with the same passionate love that you have for me.”

It was true. I was cut from the same cloth as Him. I was in Him and He was in me.

Before this experience, I always wondered if I could have a mansion in heaven. Where would it be? What would it look like? Who would be there? But ever since this moment, I can’t stop thinking about this place—His throne. His glory. His heart.

His home…was my home.

He had a room in His mansion just for me, located at the core of all of who He was, and at the center of the city, and all of creation.

Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going (John 14:1-4 NLT).

The room had my special name on it. It was made of a white, stoney substance. The Lord has not allowed me to remember or share that name with anyone.

Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what he is saying to the churches. To everyone who is victorious I will give some of the manna that has been hidden away in heaven. And I will give to each one a white stone, and on the stone will be engraved a new name that no one understands except the one who receives it (Revelation 2:17 NLT).

The Scars That Still Speak

In response to my great fear concerning my sin and mistakes, He showed me the wounds, the holes, below His hands (closer to His wrists). He could read me and know me, and I did not even have to say a single word.

He sternly said, “My brother, why are you looking for that which does not exist?”

Within His pierced wounds, I saw the clearest picture of how He fully paid the price of the entirety of my transgressions, past, present, and future, and that part of His skin was fully pierced through His wrists and nailed eternally to that cross.

To this day, those nails that pierced through his skin were nailed into the cross—they were the full representation of the complete list of my sins—and were left there. The wounds I witnessed shone with a sparkling glow of complete wholeness, pro-claiming, “It is finished!” I will never forget that moment.

All my shame and guilt had just been a false delusion I was living in. While it was real to me, it was forgiven and washed by Truth Himself. The One who created everything from the start had reverse engineered my every mistake.

You might think that His scars in His hands and His side would be minuscule, but the longer I looked into them, their depth was never-ending. They were greater than the entire population of humanity’s mistakes, past, present and future. I began to understand this scripture passage in Psalm 103:10-12 (NLT):

He does not punish us for all our sins;

He does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.

For His unfailing love toward those who fear him

is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.

He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.

The scars were like an ocean that had no floor. He didn’t just endure the pain for a temporary moment 2,000 years ago, but His blood was continually and forever being poured out on my behalf. Now you can start to understand how the disciples must have felt in John 20:20 (TPT):

Then He showed them the wounds of His hands and His side—they were overjoyed to see the Lord with their own eyes!

Right above the scars on both of His wrists was written a name. Gabriel.

He did it all for me.

Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed (Isaiah 53:4-5 NLT).

Then He said to me: “Gabriel, I paid the price for your life. Joyfully.”

We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne (Hebrews 12:2 NLT).

His facial expression was genuinely stern, filled with anger that was on my behalf. “You do not need to pay the price that has already been paid.”