6 Steps to Pray Effectively: Unlock Peace, Power, and Intimacy with God

Excerpted from Unseen.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” (Psalm 46:10 NKJV).

Let’s look at a potent and effective method of prayer—waiting on God in stillness and quiet. Many great generals of the faith say waiting on God in stillness was a main source of power that was seen in their lives. John G. Lake, William Seymour, David Wilkerson, Leonard Ravenhill, and other greats said this was one of the most critical methods of prayer they used.

Waiting on God does not mean you are inactive and withdrawn. It is active waiting, similar to waiting in expectation on the Uber Eats delivery or DoorDash person who is currently on the way to your door with your food. You have hunger, expectation, and desire.

I have learned much about this topic from great prayer teachers. My friends Eric Gilmour, Michael Koulianos, and Brian Guerin are among my favorites. They live and breathe this kind of prayer, and I encourage you to check out their great resources. A YouTube playlist with Daniel Kolenda interviewing Eric Gilmour about prayer is a great place to start.

The Method

Jesus tells us, “But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly” (Matthew 6:6 NKJV).

Solitude and Silence

The first instruction is to go into your room and close the door. This points to solitude and silence. You are to get alone, away from the noisy business of the outside world. Find a private place of solitude and remove your phone and other distractions. Jesus modeled this by often withdrawing to lonely places to pray (Luke 5:16).

Solitude and silence remove outward noise. Later, you will read tips to remove the inner chatter. Sit in a comfortable chair; don’t lie down in order to avoid falling asleep. I often like to grab a coffee or caffeinated tea to help maintain my alertness, especially if it’s in the morning. Sometimes I listen to soft background instrumental music. Other times, I enjoy complete silence.

Attention and Focus

After removing outward distractions, we must remove the inner noise. Eric Gilmour says that a scattered mind is the main reason people struggle to connect with God in prayer. Learning how to redirect and focus our attention on Jesus is paramount. We must shift our attention away from all internal thoughts or distractions. Just like a busy street is noisy, so is a busy mind.

Thankfully, humans have the power and ability to focus and shift our mental attention. We can choose to focus our minds and attention on objects externally and internally, narrowing our attention to a single internal object or thought. In stillness prayer, we center our focus and thoughts on Jesus and push away all other thoughts.

Thankfulness and Gratitude

I often start with thankfulness and gratitude for what Jesus has done for me. “Thank You, Jesus, for dying on the Cross so I could be forgiven of all my sins. Thank You, Jesus, that I have a brand-new life in You. Thank You, Jesus, that I am in union with You now. Jesus, I love You!”

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name (Psalm 100:4 NIV).

Adoration and Affection

I have adopted some phases that Eric Gilmour uses in focusing his mind and affection on Jesus: “Jesus, I give You ALL my attention, and I worship You. Jesus, I focus ALL my attention on You, and I love You.” As I repeat these over and over, I redirect my scattered thoughts and gather all my inner attention to focus on Jesus. I narrow my wide attention to a single point of attention and affection.

I begin to adore Jesus with my inner self. With my inner heart and affection, I start to release that toward Him. Imagine sitting next to your spouse, not touching, and practicing hugging each other internally. With eyes closed you would release your love to each other, projecting your inner affection toward the other person.

My wife, Debby, and I have done this, and we could actually begin to feel the love we sent to each other without any physical touch. We could feel it on the inside. Our souls could experience the awareness of contacting each other in love. Debby and I are united in spirit. As believers in Jesus, we are connected and united with Christ on the inside too.

So we can also do this with Jesus. We can project our inner heart of affection to Jesus and receive His love back toward us. We can have a wonderful exchange of love and heart-to-heart connection with our Savior!

The goal of this prayer is nothing more than to be aware of your connection with Jesus and love Him. It is time spent in the presence of the One you love. The purpose and goal is Jesus Himself.

In Luke 10, we see how Mary sitting at Jesus’ feet and listening to Him was all that was needed.

Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:38-42 NKJV).

Let’s be like Mary, choosing the one thing needed, sitting at Jesus’ feet and listening to Him. From this place of intimacy, we will bear much fruit for the Kingdom. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5 NIV).

Using Scripture

You can also use Scripture as a focal point to connect with Jesus. Take a sentence of Scripture and repeat it silently in your mind as you focus on God. For example, using John 3:16 (NKJV) as a focal point. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son….” You would ponder and think about this great love that God had for you that He would send Jesus to earth, internally allowing thankfulness to arise from your heart to Jesus. You could start to envision Jesus dying on the Cross for you as you are thanking Him. This could open up a beautiful time of inner heart-to-heart affection and adoration with Jesus using Scripture.

I am using Jesus as the example here, but I also have special connection time with Father God and fellowship time getting to know the Holy Spirit.

Pay Attention

While sitting with Jesus, pay attention to what God may be saying to you. Mary sat at Jesus’ feet and listened to Him. Many times during this type of prayer, God will speak to you. You may have a thought of a Bible chapter or verse. That may be the Holy Spirit guiding you to a portion of Scripture. When I feel a nudge to go read that Bible text, I will grab my Bible while trying to keep my awareness on Jesus, reading and asking Him questions about the text.

Pay attention to any internal images or visions that may arise. These may be symbolic or metaphoric in nature, as God’s voice many times is. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you discern what God is saying to you with these images.

Have a heart posture to enjoy Jesus during these times. Revelation will come, but revelation is not the focus— Jesus is.

The following are some common questions and answers about this method of prayer:

Question: How can I remove all distracting thoughts while waiting on God?

Answer: I have noticed that, like an airplane taking off, at first, it takes more effort or power to leave the runway. At the start, quieting my busy mind and thoughts takes more effort, before I lift off and connect with God.

I have to be very intentional about focusing all my attention on Jesus. I say inwardly, “Jesus, I give You all my attention, and I love You. Jesus, I give You all my focus, and I adore You.” I may have to repeat this 100 times in the first three minutes to focus my scattered thoughts, but it’s doable.

Question: Should I expect to feel or experience something during this type of prayer?

Answer: Yes, absolutely. I always expect to experience Jesus in stillness prayer. But I expect to experience Him internally. There is a difference between internal and external manifestations.

Outward physical manifestations can occur, like feeling tingles from an electrical current or even more powerful shaking in God’s presence. Outward manifestations are wonderful, but they do not always happen. Inward manifestations of God, however, are always available.

I will always experience God’s inner peace and joy in my heart in prayer if I can remove distractions. Romans 14:17 says the Kingdom of God is righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. I can access and experience both peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

When I connect with Jesus internally, His peace rubs off on me. Jesus is the Prince of Peace, and in His presence, peace naturally overflows. I may have an anxious heart, but in His presence, I am calm internally. Inwardly, things start to happen. The joy of the Lord also will start to manifest internally. I will feel my countenance being lifted as I fix my internal eyes on Jesus.

We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the Cross disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne (Hebrews 12:2 NLT).

God lifts our head and our countenance (our outlook, expression, mood). During these prayer times, I will begin to smile as I feel lighter and more joyous in His presence. Jesus is full of joy and that starts to have an effect on my joy level too. I often find myself with a huge tooth-revealing smile as I look to Jesus within. Jesus refreshes and gives life to our souls like no other!

I cannot encourage you enough to practice this method of prayer. It will likely take some effort to still your scattered thoughts, but it is more than worth it. It will get easier as momentum hits in prayer. It’s like walking back and forth across a field that had heavy snow. It will be more laborious on the first trip, but as you walk back and forth, the snow gets packed down, and a trail is formed. Walking becomes much easier as the trail is forged. The same thing happens as we create pathways in prayer.

Waiting on God in stillness was a key to many great heroes of the faith, and we have complete access to do this too!