How to Pray Your Prodigal Home: The Father’s Blueprint for Unshakable Love

Excerpted from The Road Home.

In the Prodigal Son parable, we can safely assume that the father was delighted to have two sons.

However, when the younger son asked his father for his inheritance before his father’s death or even illness, we can be very certain that this request massively hurt. Any father who was listening to Jesus tell the parable would have felt outraged on the fictional father’s behalf. The younger son was basically saying that he wanted his dad dead so that he could have his inheritance. He wanted his dad’s money more than his dad.

So what was inheritance like at this time and in this culture? Of course, there weren’t stocks, bonds, trust accounts, or safety-deposit boxes. The development of our modern idea of currency didn’t really become the common form of buying and selling until around AD 1000, even though there are plenty of ancient coins to show some of the development of our modern currency.

In Jesus’ day, a family’s wealth was wrapped up in livestock, land, gold, precious stones, jewelry, and maybe family heir- looms. In order to divide up the inheritance between his boys, the father would have had to figure out equivalent values or trades for his wealth such that it could be divided and given to his sons. This is what the father did to respond to his younger son’s demand. He liquidated his estate to divide it between his sons.

While the father’s pain from the demand of the younger son seems obvious, his pain because of the absence of his older son isn’t quite as obvious. As I mentioned previously, the older son had been expected to be at his dad’s right hand and mediate conflicts between his dad and others—particularly his younger brother. The fact that the older son was totally missing in the exchange between his brother and his dad is noteworthy.

This is all the more alarming to consider when the younger son quickly liquidates his inheritance and leaves the family with zero intervention from the older son. I suspect that the older brother’s inheritance would have been impacted by his little brother’s demand, and it’s possible that he would have resented this impact.

In all of these exchanges, no one is behaving consistently with the cultural or social norms. The younger son wholly dis- respects his dad, the oldest son is absent, and the father agrees to give his younger son his inheritance. Jesus’ audience would have noticed immediately that none of the main characters of the parable was acting as was to be expected. I can imagine that everyone listening to Jesus tell this parable was wholly perplexed at the respective behaviors of each of these key characters.

As Jesus continues, He describes the choices and results of the younger son in Luke 15:13-16 that ended in loss, shame, and starvation. The younger son returns to his dad as a broken and destitute son. Upon this son’s return, the father does what is wholly unexpected. Truly, when I read what the father does in Luke 15:20, I’m unraveled. The quantity and quality of love expressed by the father is nothing but fully divine, as I don’t think that we humans have such extravagant love in our hearts without God’s help.

Consider this verse in a few translations:

So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt com- passion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him (NASB).

So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him (NLT).

When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him (MSG).

From a long distance away, his father saw him coming, dressed as a beggar, and great compassion swelled up in his heart for his son who was returning home. The father raced out to meet him, swept him up in his arms, hugged him dearly, and kissed him over and over with tender love (TPT).

As I read the parable today, I find the father’s actions toward his younger son to be astounding. It is even more wondrous when his actions are put into the culture and time of the parable’s telling. Instead of being pious and aloof, even expressing offense at his son’s disrespect, the father is exuberant and unrestrained in his enthusiastic welcome for his son. Instead of letting his pain direct his actions and emotions, the father lets his love and affection lead him to heartily embrace and affectionately kiss his son.

It’s interesting to consider that at this time in history, people in positions of honor and leadership didn’t normally run. Running would require them to hoist up their clothing (robes) and expose their legs. Exposing one’s legs was distasteful and considered vulgar. Nevertheless, the father’s affection for his son far exceeded his concerns for social norms and acceptable behaviors.

Let’s also consider that the father saw his son from a distance and ran that distance to embrace and welcome his son. This is noteworthy because the villagers where his home was situated would have known about the younger son’s disrespect toward his dad. These villagers would have reviled him with ugly words, hateful actions, and closed doors. Because the father ran to his “outcast” son, the son didn’t have to suffer the rejection and abusive treatment from the villagers. The father bridged the gap so that his son wouldn’t have to experience humiliation or the ugly and unkind words from the villagers.

Family Values

In thinking about the father’s family values and treatment for this disrespectful son, it’s helpful to see his actions in the demonstrated priorities. The father did everything to express personal reconciliation with his son. He ran to close the gap between them. When he reached his son, the father didn’t begin a parental sermon or berate his son for the poor choices and disrespectful actions he did. Instead, he falls on his son’s neck and kisses him. Personally, I don’t think there’s a more exuberant or forgiving picture for personal reconciliation than what is demonstrated by this father.

There was nothing from the father to communicate to this lost son that he was too smelly, dirty, disgusting, unworthy, undeserving, or too far beyond his father’s love and passion. There’s not a hint of disdain or hesitation in the father’s actions and outpouring of love.

Let’s look at the verbs that are associated with his actions, as they will help punctuate the strong feelings the father expressed. To help us work through these verbs, let’s refresh our aware- ness of Luke 15:20 (NASB): “So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.”

Seeing:

The father saw his son from a distance. Was his dad watching for him? Did his dad anticipate his son’s return? Did the dad glance toward the horizon and just happen to see his son walking home? Because this is a parable that Jesus is telling us, we can’t say with certainty what this looked like.

Compassion:

We can say, however, that when the father saw his son, he wasn’t angry, punitive, vengeful, hostile, or pious. Verse 20 says that the father felt compassion. The word for compassion in the Greek that is used here is σπλαγχνίζομαι (splagznizomai). It is used twelve times in the New Testament, all in the Gospels. It has the sense of feeling deeply or viscerally, to yearn, have com- passion, pity. Rather than letting anger, punishment, or revenge lead his actions, the father had kindness and affection in his heart. Compassion was the father’s motive for all his subsequent actions.

Run:

Rather than stroll or saunter his way to his son, the father runs. This Greek word τρέχω (trecho) means “to run or walk hastily” and carries the idea of rushing and moving as fast as possible. The father ran to his son, not being concerned about his dignity or honor, but about receiving his son who had been gone for a long time.

Embrace:

Greek translations say that the father “fell on his neck.” This is the same phrase that’s used in Acts 20:37 when the church at Ephesus was saying goodbye to Paul, knowing that they wouldn’t see him again. In our parable, rather than being a goodbye, this embrace is the wholehearted welcome of the father, overflowing with compassion and affection for his long-lost son.

Kiss:

It’s relatively common in the Middle East for men to greet each other with a kiss on the cheek. In our story, however, we need to think about all the father’s actions. The kiss carried with it the full weight and intensity of the joyous welcome the dad felt for his returning son. Instead of a slap to the face for being hurtful and disrespectful, or shunning and humiliating the son, the father is fully cohesive in all his actions to welcome home his son.

The Help

After receiving such a heartfelt acceptance, the younger son launches into his planned speech, only to be interrupted by his dad before he could finish. The father’s interruption sets up the second reconciliation that would immediately be needed in the house for his son. The father instructs the servants to put the best robe on his son, a ring on his finger, and sandals on his feet. The father not only demonstrated affection and reconciliation to his outcast son, but he commanded his servants to come in line with his values and appropriately dress his son. Through these actions, we see the father command household reconciliation.

Perhaps some of these servants and house help might have felt anger and hostility toward this son for how he treated his dad. The father’s commands to these servants made it clear that there would be no hostility toward his reconciled son from the servants. The father set the tone for how the household help would treat the newly returned son. Furthermore, by putting the best robe on his son, a ring on his finger, and sandals on his feet, the father ensures that none of the shame of his son’s past will be displayed or observable in the house or among the servants. The father’s instructions posture this son to look as if he had never offended his dad or lived among pigs in a foreign country. We can see that the father is totally committed to see his lost son be fully reconciled in his house.

The father’s instructions posture this son to look as if he had never offended his dad or lived among pigs in a foreign country.

Celebration and Party

Finally, since the father knew that his village would customarily ostracize and berate his younger son, he commanded his servants to kill their best animal for eating to make a community celebration, since the fattened calf would provide an abundance of tasty meat. Such a party would circumvent the social norms and demand a community reconciliation for his formerly out- cast son. The father again set the tone for how the community would behave toward his reconciled son by throwing such an extravagant party for his return.

The party was not organized with scarcity or begrudgingly. If that had been the case, the meal would have been less extravagant and the music and overflow would have been less exuberant. Indeed, sacrificing the fattened calf is similar to eating a prime ribeye steak that is overflowing with fat and flavor. At this time in history, the fattened calf was an animal that was purposefully looked after with time, careful feeding, and less exercise to ensure a fatty and tasty meal. The fattened calf was saved for special occasions.

As we will see in the next chapter, the father made sure that there was dancing and music at this welcome-home celebration for the long-lost son. The jubilant party was loud and inclusive because the father’s acceptance for his lost son was opulent and overflowing with affection!

As a side observation, you may have noticed that these two chapters related to the father in our parable do not have Family Insight breakaways. I have purposely left the Family Insights out of these chapters because the father in this parable is representative of our Heavenly Father. To that end, I wanted us to move our focus away from flawed and frail humans so that we could give our whole attention to look at our Heavenly Father—who is all things perfect with no human equivalent. Even though our parents can have the best intentions, and you might have had incredible parents, they are nonetheless flawed humans. We would be wise and could experience phenomenal healing, reconciliation, bonding, and redemption by making some adjustments with how we view the role our parents played.